Well, maybe you haven’t been waiting for it, but I’ve certainly been stymied at every turn while trying to edit and get this out to you. Things I know: a)When you get a new computer, things don’t always go well with the video editor. b)When you finally get the editor working, it’s best to click “SAVE” every few minutes. Not that I lost all my work one time because I was so Passionate about the Creative Process, mind you. It’s just a friendly reminder to us all.
At any rate, here it is, in all its glory. Not only do I describe The Creaming Method in Meticulous Detail, but you also get the bonus of a Pure Vanilla Van Halen Sour Cream Pound Cake. And how can you say no to that? Exactly: you Can’t. Enjoy!
Friends, after much gnashing of teeth and brandishing of Clenched Fist and cursing and muttering and Stomping Off to get a frosty cold Adult Beverage, I have finally managed to convert and upload the latest PMAT Live!
Episode 3c Doin’ the Pretzel Twist: Before the Twist finds your Intrepid Heroine (moi) enlisting the aid of the Under Twelve Set to make pretzel dough. Yes, Jackson of the Thank You Phone Call Without Coercion and his sister Sophie were my sous chefs and helped to scale out, mix and knead the beautiful pretzel dough.
Now, I’m the first to admit that the editing is less-than-smooth. I mean, overall it’s o-kay, but I did manage to cut out a couple half-w0rds. This is because we did the whole shebang in one take which lasted roughly one hour and ten minutes. I cut it down to run in under ten, so those couple of half words are just lucky to be in the thing at all. There are thousands and thousands of words that didn’t even get half in there.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. Barring horror and woe, I’ll be back tomorrow to regale you with Tales of Orlando. You won’t want to miss it….Listen to….the sound….of my voice….You won’t want to miss it…You are getting very….sleepy…
Video is an amazing thing. It catches a snapshot in time. A moving snapshot, but a snapshot nonetheless. In the case of this Particular Snapshot, it captures me in a more innocent state than I am At Present. Trying to edit it over the past couple of days, I kept shaking my head at that Naive Me looking back at me from a time of innocence. Long ago and far away. Last Wednesday, to be exact.
You see, between the blissfully innocent filming and Right This Very Second, The Beloved and I have entered the wonderful world of Kitten Fostering. You know, where you take care of one or two wee kittens or cats until they can find a new home. It sounded like such a High Calling. It was a way to indulge our kitty love without becoming the Crazy Cat People who own a billion cats. We could still have our own cats and then serve as a Compassionate Way Station for one or two other needy kittens. In essence, we wanted to Have Our Cake and Eat it Too.
I will forgo the spirit breaking Play by Play and fast forward to the present. I’ve been spending my time cleaning up diarrhea and vomit of Linda Blair proportions. It’s really rather impressive, if you don’t have a sense of smell. We’re shoving white and yellow liquid medicines down their little throats and keeping them far away from our guys. To keep them from catching Communicable Diseases. Between the sneezing and the snobbling and the round worms, I sit at this keyboard a newly humbled Online Pastry Chef. A chastened and solemn ghost of my former self.
Friends, I am here to tell you, and I think The Beloved would concur, that it is Not Possible to Have One’s Cake and Eat It Too. Heed my warning.
Oh, and did I mention that these wee kittens–who are very sweet, if prolific eliminators, by the way–were supposedly spayed/neutered by their former owners. But guess what? Sweet Alice is Preggers. As I refuse to believe that owners who would surrender their pets to a Kill Shelter would ever tell an Untruth, I can only conclude that Alice’s case is the first documented case of Immaculate Feline Conception in the history of the world. Maybe our Cake will come in the form of 15 minutes of fame courtesy of The Star or The National Enquirer, alongside a picture of a pancake bearing the likeness of the Blessed Virgin herself and a potato chip that looks just like Richard M. Nixon.
At any rate, let’s leave that rather unpleasant subject behind us. It’s time for Episode 2A of PMAT Live! As promised, it’s all about using a kitchen scale. There’s a piece about the fabled tare function and some Illuminating Demonstrations. I hope you find it helpful. I’ll be posting part 2B in another few days. That’s it for now.
You technical people, or helpful people in general, I’d love to hear your thoughts. And as always, you can submit your topic suggestions in the comments section or through email to onlinepastrychef at yahoo dot com.
Pastry Methods and Techniques 
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